Saturday, April 30, 2011

Dear Cold Caller,

You are lucky if you get this reply from a potential customer,

"We aren't able to use your product right now, but please take my email and send me information because we would like to be able to plan for it."

The correct response can come in many forms.  It does not, however, sound like this:

"Well we don't send out information.  That would be a waste of time for us."

Because, as it happens, any follow up response from said potential customer (SPC) will include a short but sweet declination of your services ending with the statement, "because that would be a waste of time for us."

Furthermore, when you then give out your website address, SPC will not even pretend to write it down.  She will, though, roll her eyes at the not-quite-cleverly misspelled name of your company before hanging up.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Armpit Warmers

Yeah, that's right.  Armpit warmers.  I have 'em.  I've joked about having them for a long time, but today I knew that all joking was over.  ForEVER.

Fynn's apparently hitting that nine month growth spurt, and she's still recovering from a(nother) nasty (fricken) cold.  So we're back to nursing from 1:00 in the morning or so until we get up.  This morning I woke up at 6:45 and realized I was laying on my back. 

Oh the glory of not laying on my left side with my back arched so that my knees aren't disturbing one Miss Fynnie Fynnie Coco Pop.

My next thought was, "She's not even nursing!  Wonder when she stopped?"

And then I realized, she was still nursing.  While I was laying on my back.


Sunday, April 24, 2011

My Word

Ever suddenly face a new difficulty while doing something you've done hundreds of times in the past with no problems?  If you're like me (the me of these days when sleep is a rare treat and caffeine even rarer), you have a couple of standard responses.

First, you continue attempting to do things the old way.  Why will it only upload one photo at a time?  It's probably just a glitch.  If I keep trying this, maybe the glitch will go away.

Second, walk away and figure you'll come back to it later.  Ugh!

Third, come back and try the old way again.  Five more times.  Begin thinking in symbols.  Maybe I'll just take this piece of %#$&@ and throw it out the %^&##% window!

Fourth, find a new way of doing the old job.  Only this way is incredibly time consuming and, therefore, extra frustrating.  %^#^#%^%*  $%*$&%*$&*  @$@#$^!!!

Fifth and finally, you might try posting a question about how to resolve the problem.  Anyone know of an easier way to post photos on my blog?  The old way isn't working.  #@$$$%!  If anyone knows the answer, you can be my new BFF.

Someone wonderful and full of the knowledge of Blogger and Picasa might. come along and give a simple suggestion.  Have you tried uploading directly to Picasa?

Well I'm here to say, Step aside Nance!  There's a new BFF in town and her name is Heather (no, not Luke Skywalker's mama Heather).  This Heather is mama to Baby J and Bean.  Baby J is older than Bean, which is just confusing enough to make me like her even more.

When one acquires a new BFF, it's a good idea to learn a little about them.  I mean, I'm used to awkward silences and uncomfortable glances, but keeping those to a minimum whenever possible doesn't hurt either.  So I dashed over to Heather's blog, conveniently named Mama to Baby J and Bean.

I already was aware that Bean is cute as a button and has Williams Syndrome and that Baby J is adorable, even without any "and has"'es.  And I remember watching a news program (20 or so years ago) on the happy, smiling, musical, elfin people with Williams Syndrome.  So I felt like I already had a handle on all of that.

Yeah, no.  Yet again I discover that there's a whole other dimension to life than what I'd heard.  You can check out some of that by reading this post.

Above all else, Heather is a mama and as many mamas do, has a couple of birth stories to share.  She's not as wordy as some of *ahem* and managed to get both stories in one post about her relationship with pain management.

If you're over there, feel free to drop her a comment, letting her know how happy you are to see pictures on my blog again.  And to help you feel happier about photos on my blog, here are a few from Madelyn's first Easter, which also happened to be her first birthday.  I'll post photos from yesterday and today another time.

Feeding herself.

First time directly in the bath.  She loved it!

Daddy will do anything to make it better.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Bad News/Good News

Fynn is finally starting to be less boobiefied.  She'll even stop at night so Daddy can put her to bed instead of nursing off to dreamland.  I'm happy letting her nurse as long as she wants (pretty much), but it's also exciting to have a bit more freedom.

Yesterday I called my local parks and rec department and left a message saying I'm interested in teaching a sign class.  Mentioned that I'd taught down the hill for 13 years.

Today a woman called back.  Her name was familiar.  She said that the budget cutbacks have hit parks and rec; they are cutting classes, not adding them.  We agreed that this is utter nonsense since the cost of hosting my class is essentially paying someone to type my info into the online community guide and paying someone else to pay me periodically.

So that's the bad news.

The good news is that the woman's name was familiar because she was the person who hired me 15 years ago.  She said, "I'm familiar with the quality of your work and I'd love to have you.  Please fill out a contract and I'll let you know when something opens up."

That made me feel pretty darn awesome.

And the not being able to teach a class up here just yet?  Well, I consider it one more roadblock in my path to making friends up here.  It's almost entertaining at this point. 

Tom and I did a bit of home market research.  The countdown is well under way.  All we need in order to move is 11 months and a down payment.  The time part is taking care of itself quite nicely (although I was devastated yesterday to learn it was only Tuesday morning and not Wednesday afternoon).  The down payment part?  Well we're saving.  At this rate it'll be about six(ty) years before we're able to afford the area where we want to live. 

Maybe by then my classes will be established and I'll have made some new friends.

Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!

Mad wanted ducks and frogs, chocolate cupcakes and white and a spoon for her birthday party.

I admit these frog cupcakes are rather pitiful.  I found the best frog cupcake toppers, but Tom decided "we" should make these instead.  In the picture we'd found online, the green candy stayed in a smile.  Ours would hardly stay bent at all.  When I tried putting a very bent piece on one cupcake, it dragged the frosting down until the frog looked even more grim than the others.
Corey said these look less like frogs and more like green French people. Vohoho!
Oh, and what they lack in style, these cupcakes made up for in ability to stick to the paper.  I don't say I completely forgot to put oil in the batter.  I say I made fat free chocolate cupcakes.

The same lady who made these perfect ducks was the maker of the frogs Tom said we shouldn't buy, because "we" could make our own.  (Our order was perfect and shipped a lot more quickly than I'd expected.  Not only that, but since we'd purchased the candy for the frogs at an overpriced mall candy shop, the cost savings for doing it ourselves was $3.)

Banana nut muffins cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  Um, yes please!

I am just so relieved that Tom didn't insist we make duck cupcakes, too.  Oh, I found an adorable ducky cupcake.

But I also found a blog that showed exactly what my ducks would look like, should we attempt such a feat.  I think the fact that the writer calls her sister-in-law's (I believe) effort "mutant rubber ducks" speaks to the horror.  You can check that out here.

When the kids arrived, they hunted for butterflies.  The butterfly nets had one "catch" in it and the kids had to find the matching prey.  Good thing Grandma put the butterflies out and not me.  I envisioned them being spread high and low around a couple of rooms in our house.  She put them all in one tiny little section.  The kids are two, so easy finding and matching is different for them than for me.  Note to self.

This little lovely is still on the wall.

Critter tree.  For looks.  We are using it for Easter, too.  Just as you see here, only without the balloons.  It may also become our Cinco de Mayo tree.  Arribe!

Making caterpillars in our weed-ridden backyard.  Check out those short sleeves.  It was a balmy 53 degrees in the sun.  With wind.  Jackets were brought out shortly after this.

Lots of activities to do, but what's better than digging in cement-like clay?

Each of the kids had a pot and a selection of veggies to choose from.  Samantha and her mother opted for an ambitious looking watermelon plant.  I am not kidding.  That's what she called it (the mother, not the child).  I love Valeria.  She's from the mommy group I was in when Mad was born.  We were the rare group that had nothing in common aside from our babies.  Valeria is from Belarus and a model.  Now she's working on her own clothing line.  I can be counted on to not wear makeup, accessories or, often, shoes and a bra.  Somehow we make it work.

Mad got some great gifts. Apparently people felt like they could help us furnish our barren abode house at the same time as they celebrated Mad's third birthday. She received a puppet theater and a table and chairs.
Safety is important.  We were all happy to read this on the box.

Not as happy to see this on each and every chair.  At least they won't pinch!

And now for the dramatic conclusion...
Right after this was taken, Mad seemed to have a seizure.  Thank god my mother-in-law was there.  Her nursing skills, speed and calm exterior helped us all cope a little better.
Yes, she's seen a doctor.  He said it could've been a seizure or she could have been holding her breath from all the excitement.  Waiting on a neurology referral.  Yes, that's a ridiculous thing to have to wait this long for.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Mad Mouth

Daddy, to Mad:  "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a purple."


"That's Babies R Us.  That's where stinky diapers come."


Mad, to Mama:  "I want a chippie."

"You do?  Where are they?"  (Asked as I scan the post-birthday party bomb blast that is our living room and kitchen.)

"They're right over here, honey.  They're right over here, hon."


And what does Fynn add to a conversation these days?  A lot of panting like a dog and blowing raspberries. 

Saturday, April 09, 2011

To Answer the Question

It's now 29 degrees and everything's covered in frost.  Upside:  no wind, so it only feels like 29.


Yesterday I bought Mad an outfit to stand in for her cute sundress, and bought a sweater to go over Fynn's.  I may just stay in my sweats and yoga pants.

Friday, April 08, 2011


Upon turning on my computer this morning I can see that today is the day my in-laws will arrive at our house.  How do I know this (rest assured it's not my sleep-deprived brain that cannot keep track of complex lists or the days of the week)?

At this moment outside my window it is 36 degrees and raining.  Which probably means it's snowing in the pass.  In the middle of April.  Officially warmer than where Judy and Larry left (just outside Chicago) a few short days ago.

On the upside, the wind is about 35 miles per hour slower than it was yesterday...

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Not That Wild After All

Tom and I are sitting here catching up on tonight's Idol elimination show.  I like that we can fast forward through the commercials, including the in-show Ford commercials*.  I also like skipping the often horrendous group songs and some of the guest performers.

Tonight's guest performer, to my utter shock, was Iggy Pop.  (Yeah, I know that Constantine Maroulis "performed"... whatever.)  I love me some Iggy Pop.

But not on American Idol.

And maybe he's gone the way of Funyans.  Those were some of my favorite bites of junk when I was a kid.  Had them about ten years ago and realized that either the ingredients or my palate has changed.  Or both.

Mr. Pop, who is almost exactly a year older than my mother, did some things tonight that made me contemplate his AARP membership.

The peepee stance.  Feet out, knees in, hips to one side?  And you're gonna look like you're scanning the aisles for the blue light of a restroom sign?  Almost sent me to the restroom.

Or how about that Marilyn Monroe-esque rolling around on the stage?  Again with the out-of-breath-how-the-hell-did-I-end-up-here-and-where's-the-restroom/whiskey/next-shot-of-something-strong look on your face.

*Seriously, winning a 20-anything Ford Focus is not a prize.  It's a white elephant.  White elephant gifts are not funny unless you don't "win."

Monday, April 04, 2011

I Know Why They Say

... glasses make me look smarter.

Now I look like I can read. 

Unless I take them off, in which case I sound like someone trying to read in their new second language.

(Note to self:  So what if you  read "today" as "holiday," you got three-fifths of those letters in the right order.  And location!)

Sunday, April 03, 2011

Sticking With Tradition

Tomorrow it should be in the upper 70's around here.  A few days ago it was in the 90's down the hill, mid-80's here.  Sunshine and blue skies are a lot more common up here than any other type of weather. 

My in-laws will be here on Friday.  The forecast?  Rain and temps in the low 50's.

I don't know how they do it, but they manage to bring cold, often wet weather every single time.  One time they arrived to gorgeous blue skies and nice temperatures.  About two hours later the wind kicked up and blew in this awe-inspiringly massive storm cloud.  Rain splats the size of silver dollars pelted us as we stood there in disbelief.

We have scheduled Mad's birthday party to coincide with their trip.  For some ridiculous reason we have included messy outdoor activities.

Saturday, April 02, 2011


You amuse me.

Yes, I love that you don't charge sales tax.  And that there has been a 20% off coupon code each time I have needed to order a ridiculously expensive European car seat from your fine establishment.  And that I have ordered on Saturday night and received the shipment on Monday morning.  That's all cool and, yes, you rock.

But no, I will not be utilizing the "reorder in seconds" link.  Each girl has one car seat per car.  We're done.  Please stop sending me invitations to spend more money we don't have on things we don't need.



Oh Yeah, Huh?

I've had my new eyeglasses for a few days.  Seeing with them on is different than without.  Strange that everything is not only clearer, but seems closer, too.  Stairs are still weird, and I'm not exactly thrilled with the way I kind of get woozy when turning my head.  I'm sure I'll adjust to those things soon enough.  There is one thing I have to get into my head STAT, though.

Wearing glasses isn't like wearing sunglasses.  If one is a people watcher in shades, nobody really knows whether you're still looking a second too long.  Note to self...
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