(More) Stupid Things I Say

To the head of a large motor company in the midst of a big business event:  "Thank you (for fixing my collar).  I changed my shirt twice on the way over here tonight."  Like that wasn't enough, I had to expand on it.  "I wore this shirt to work today, but changed as I was heading over here.  Then I realized I'd popped a button off and had to go through it all again."

To a very serious request for suggestions for volunteer activities for foreign exchange students on the local mommy group board:  "I suppose it would be inappropriate to suggest that the students volunteer to put sprinklers in my backyard, right? How 'bout a patio cover? Playing with my kids so I can get something done around here?  Seriously though, I hope you find what you need. I would love to host, but the spare bed we have is a sleeper sofa in the loft. I've already seen my father-in-law in his underwear this year and can't risk any more trauma."