Potty Training, Day One (Not for the Squeamish)

What I've learned today:

• The "five minutes off, five minutes on" method is too much.  I prefer the "10 minutes off, stay on a reasonable time" method.
• My daughter can be taught in three hours or less to stop what she's doing and head to the potty once the oven timer goes off.
• The pause function on the TV is a wonderful feature that helps keep a little girl from feeling rushed so she won't miss Abby's Flying Fairy School.
• You cannot leave poop on the floor with Maisy around.  I left it for 10 seconds while I got Mad to the potty, but it was still gone when I returned.  I almost vomited, but I was also kind of grateful I didn't have to clean it up all by myself.
• That little ladybug-shaped egg timer Mad loves?  Having it go off in the bathroom because you're trying to get her to stay on the seat for 2-3 minutes is NOT a good idea.  Causes a certain little girl to somehow jump off the potty with the seat adapter attached to her backside until she lands in your lap.  (So proud of her for getting back up there later!  She keeps saying, "No wadybug in the potty.  It's too woud in the potty.")
• The idea that you can simply dump poop from a diaper into the potty is freaking ridiculous, especially if your daughter pooped and then hopped and scooted all over her bed while not napping .
• Mad can only bend over and touch her toes for so long while Mama cleans that massive poo in the "you're not a baby, so you don't lay down for diaper changes" way.  And when she falls, she's probably going to land her poopy butt right on the hand that cleans her.
• Telling a child three weeks before you actually start a potty training method, "I'll give you a candy when you pee in the potty, two if you poop!" is bribery.  Bribery is bad. 
• There is nothing like the expressions of surprise and pride that come over Mad's face when she uses the potty.  (Maybe bribery is not so bad after all?)
• Mad fully comprehends the difference between wants and needs.  In between successful trips to the potty today she said, "I want... *looks away wistfully*... I need a candy."

It has been a triumphant day.  I've heard this method can work in three days (or that it can take weeks or even months!).  Wish us luck for tomorrow.