Showing posts with label future child labor plans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future child labor plans. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Conversations and Notes From Vacationland

From the road

*Mad calling Fynnie "Baby" incessantly*
*Fynnie fussing every single freaking time*
Tom: Maybe Fynnie doesn’t want to be called Baby anymore, Big Jet.
Mad: *blowing raspberries* Pshht!  She’s still in the Baby Fynnie seat.

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Mad: I have to go potty!
Daddy: We’ll stop at the next off-ramp and find a potty.
Mad: *grunting* I pushed myself and got the poop out.
Mama: *silently laughing in the front passenger seat*
Daddy: Don’t push the poop out.  Hold it in.
Mad, proudly and coolly: I’m holding it in my pants.
I'm happy to report it was not a true statement.

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Tom: Do you know what she’s doing now when she helps with laundry?
Me: ?
Tom: She’s turning them inside right.
Me: I taught her that.
*high five*
Tom: Mad, when you’re uh…
Mad: I’m not Madelyn.
Tom: Mad… er… Big Jet… I’m sorry.  Big Jet, when you’re six you’re going to take over doing all the laundry for the family.  How does that sound?
Mad: That sounds fine.

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Tom, as we passed a slow, beat up motorhome: Can you be an outlaw and drive an RV? I mean, really, c’mon!

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On location
How to stand out in a hip downtown restaurant, the kind that serves cauliflower soup and potato and leek pizzas?  Walk in carrying a potty seat adapter.  Nothing says suave and sophisticated like bright white plastic and a foam cushion with Sesame Street characters.

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Chris to Matt, pointing at the device that has just done something unexpected less than two feet from me:  Are you printing something?
Matt, looking slightly confused:  Uh, no.  I guess sometimes it just does that.  Like a test page or something.
Me: Um, actually, I just photocopied my butt.  It'll be printing a while.
Judy, laughing (thank god!):  Just like your father.  I assume she was talking to her sons about me being just like my father-in-law, but she could have been talking to me, too.

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Note to self
Stray eyebrows, no tweezers = bad.
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