Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Conversations and Notes From Vacationland

From the road

*Mad calling Fynnie "Baby" incessantly*
*Fynnie fussing every single freaking time*
Tom: Maybe Fynnie doesn’t want to be called Baby anymore, Big Jet.
Mad: *blowing raspberries* Pshht!  She’s still in the Baby Fynnie seat.


Mad: I have to go potty!
Daddy: We’ll stop at the next off-ramp and find a potty.
Mad: *grunting* I pushed myself and got the poop out.
Mama: *silently laughing in the front passenger seat*
Daddy: Don’t push the poop out.  Hold it in.
Mad, proudly and coolly: I’m holding it in my pants.
I'm happy to report it was not a true statement.


Tom: Do you know what she’s doing now when she helps with laundry?
Me: ?
Tom: She’s turning them inside right.
Me: I taught her that.
*high five*
Tom: Mad, when you’re uh…
Mad: I’m not Madelyn.
Tom: Mad… er… Big Jet… I’m sorry.  Big Jet, when you’re six you’re going to take over doing all the laundry for the family.  How does that sound?
Mad: That sounds fine.


Tom, as we passed a slow, beat up motorhome: Can you be an outlaw and drive an RV? I mean, really, c’mon!


On location
How to stand out in a hip downtown restaurant, the kind that serves cauliflower soup and potato and leek pizzas?  Walk in carrying a potty seat adapter.  Nothing says suave and sophisticated like bright white plastic and a foam cushion with Sesame Street characters.


Chris to Matt, pointing at the device that has just done something unexpected less than two feet from me:  Are you printing something?
Matt, looking slightly confused:  Uh, no.  I guess sometimes it just does that.  Like a test page or something.
Me: Um, actually, I just photocopied my butt.  It'll be printing a while.
Judy, laughing (thank god!):  Just like your father.  I assume she was talking to her sons about me being just like my father-in-law, but she could have been talking to me, too.


Note to self
Stray eyebrows, no tweezers = bad.


Brooke said...

She cracks me up. So the new name is now Big sick of Rocket?

JT said...

OMG this is hilarious. I can sort of imagine how I would feel carrying in a potty seat. I guess I'll be staying at home for a few months. Or Lila will be wearing diapers til she's a teen. Whatever.

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