Chocolate, Naps

Since thinking that I might be pregnant, I gave up all sources of caffeine, including chocolate and coffee. That was July of last year. I'm avoiding the math, because it's just too freaking long no matter how ya look at it. Well, I exaggerate a bit; I did resume drinking decaf when Mad was about four or five months old. Here's how pure my system has been: I can feel the caffeine in decaf coffee, even if it's not from Starbucks.

I know that a lot of women have all sorts of coffees and chocolates throughout their pregnancies and even while nursing. I don't judge. It works for them, and in every single case I know, the moms and babies are none the worse for wear. I've always been sensitive to caffeine, so even at the height of my Starbucks addiction, I couldn't have more than a grande half-caf misto (half steamed milk and half steamed coffee... and half of the coffee was decaf) per day... and frequently I didn't finish them.

I went to a breastfeeding support group the other day. Did I ask for any new suggestions to help increase my milk supply? Did I mention that I'm now down to pumping less than four ounces a day... and not all at one time? How about mentioning that I'd love some tips for dealing what has become a standard two weeks of PMS? Nope.

"When can I have chocolate?" Hmm... maybe I did cover the PMS thing after all.

The other moms looked at me like I was from another planet. I guess the whole, I didn't judge your choices thing wasn't reciprocal, but that's okay. The group leader, Jeri, said... *drum roll, please*

"Well... now. Just don't have a whole bunch. The thing with chocolate is the caffeine, so don't have chocolate and coffee."

The first person I told was my son. Why? Simply because right after group, I picked him up to go to my mom's. If I'd been at the top of Mt. Baldy, I'd have been yodeling it down into the valley, believe me. The thing is, I don't just want chocolate. I want damn good chocolate. I want XOXO Truffles chocolate. Yes, that means driving up to San Francisco (unless somebody can show me a link to their website... all I can find are mouth-watering reviews), and no, Tom's brother doesn't live there anymore, so we'd also have to get a hotel room. I know that's a lot to do for a truffle. Have you tried them?

Aaargh!

Tonight Corey and Tom had guy night. Somewhere along the way, Tom stopped and bought me a bag of Ghiradelli's dark chocolate squares. I tried not to scoff and sneer at this pathetic little imitation. I tried not to rip it open and eat them all in some horrifying impersonation of Cookie Monster, too.

Ugh! I took a nap this evening when Mad did. I figured she was about to wake up in half an hour, max. I'm already up later than I should be. I know that if I have one of those squares tonight, I'll never get to sleep. So I'm signing off now to go enjoy some chocolate dreams, but tomorrow... it's on!