Thursday, August 13, 2009

And Now Back To Our Story

Early in November of 2007 I finally, for sure, felt the baby moving. Here's what I'd written later that night:

When I told Tom tonight, he put his hands on my stomach and waited, like the baby would know he was there and just go crazy all over him. When that didn't happen, he leaned over, kissed my belly and said, "You can kick me. I'm right here." God I love him.

That November was pretty eventful. Tom and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary with a short weekender to Julian. A few days before we left, Corey went to the corner store and bought us a gift of... organic cotton balls. Why, you wonder? Don't think we got it right away, either! Turns out he'd read that cotton is the appropriate gift for a second wedding anniversary. We still have the bag, mostly unopened (Mad got hold of it, so... you know).

Of course we celebrated Thanksgiving, too. Here's something else I wrote at the time:

We had an awesome Thanksgiving. I was really dreading the drive up to Hesperia this year, as last year's was so horrible that I didn't ever want to do it again. Tom finally convinced me to give it a try one more time about a week ago (that's right... even just over a week ago I was still upset about it... it was that bad). He convinced me because, A) We always have a great time with the family and B) He likes hanging out with them. When he said that, I thought back to what my life was like when I was married and pregnant before...

Well, for starters, by this point in the pregnancy, I knew that the marriage was over. Second, my ex-husband didn't like or love his own family, let alone have great feelings about mine. And third, right after Corey was born, surrounded by my grandparents and mom (oh, and the now ex-husband), the ex got jealous and said that my family had had Corey long enough and that his family hadn't... ugh! What a freaking moron... and I mean me, since nobody made me be with or marry that jerk.

Continuing with our Thanksgiving theme, here's something else I'd completely forgotten:

I just wanted to say that whoever thought it was a good idea to schedule a prenatal appointment on the Monday after Thanksgiving must have been a complete fricken idiot! Didn't that person realize that I'll have to be weighed?!?

That appointment was the first time Corey ever heard the baby's heartbeat. It didn't make him all gushy or lovey. He thought it was weird, like a space alien, and kind of gross.

Exactly a month after I felt the baby move, here's what I journaled:

Tom has been living in that after-stress zone where, when he comes home from work, he pretty much stays awake for dinner (most of the time) and then falls asleep on the couch. So while I've been pretty sure that he could feel the baby if only his hands were on my stomach instead of his own, it hadn't happened.

Prior to this week, whenever he put his hands on my stomach, the baby would actually kick wherever he put his hands, and I would smile and look at him.


It got to the point where he seemed to feel bad that he wasn't feeling it... like he was a failure or already a bad father or something.

Yesterday morning I was sitting on the couch and he was in the chair. I told him his baby was moving around a lot and he should come try again. He did, and the baby was kicking up a storm. Of course, Tom didn't feel any of it because I was wearing flannel PJ bottoms and two shirts, so I pulled up the shirts and he stuck his hands down my pants (don't get all pervy on me... these aren't maternity bottoms, so they are either all the way up or all the way down).

Just then his brother called, so he answered with one hand and started chatting away. The baby gave some fairly light taps right under his hand and Tom stopped the conversation with Matt. He asked, "Those little taps... was that it?... was that the baby?"


So we laughed and shared the moment with Matt, which was kind of cool, but it would have been better if all three of us could have been in on it together, instead of just him talking to Matt or to me. But he's finally felt his baby move, and that's more important than anything.

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