Sure, you all know the first four. Everybody has those. But we are also in the midst of another season: Fire Season.
How do you know it's fire season? Well, if the actual flames and nonstop news story break-ins about nonsensically named fires aren't enough, here are a few extra clues.
The moon is orange. No, not like a harvest moon. It's all the way up in the sky. You can only see it periodically because the smoke is constantly blowing across it. At one point tonight, the only part showing through was shaped like glowing orange broccoli.
Even though you only went to the pet groomer today, you and your daughter and dog smell like you've been camping. For a week. Without a shower.
That's not dandruff, it's ash. And how it got into the dog's water bowl, which is in the house and in her crate, you'll never know. The good news is that it blows off your car as you drive away (anything that didn't blow into your car to be ground into your seat and the seat of your pants, that is... one more reason to carry a lint roller at all times).
Your eyes are constantly burning. As if you didn't already have allergies to nearly every living thing. All hopes of wearing mascara are dashed, apparently at least until September 8, when one of the three major fires surrounding you might be under control. Not out. Just less wild.
Driving without sunglasses is verboten because the whitish-brown sky reflects the sun like laser beams.
You are exhausted. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances, but limited breathing ability is definitely high on the list of causes.
Argh! I have some photos from my sister-in-law that aren't uploading for some reason. I'll try again later.
***In unrelated news, Mad is doing fine. We woke her every two hours last night, which resulted in a nice long nap (for her) this afternoon and a too long one (for me) this evening. She seemed to recall everything from yesterday. Today on TV we saw a fire truck. Mad looked at me and smacked her head, V-8 style, with an expression that said, "What the heck?!?" Of course, she does that whenever she's frustrated or too tired, too, so I could be reading into it.
***Even more unrelated news: Tomorrow I go back to work full time. I have enjoyed being off, even if it wasn't as far off as I'd have liked to be. The mantra is a reminder that I do love my job. I love it enough that I never seem to recall at the end of each year how much I dread going back at the start of the next one.