Monday, February 01, 2010

Tentatively Sighing With Something Like Relief

The other day I wrote out a lengthy and dramatic post about what we've been going through with Corey.  I decided not to publicize it.  It's the truly hard stuff of life (not the decision, the drama that caused the post) and I just wasn't sure where it was going.  With Corey, I never really am.  But there is part of it all that I wanted to share.

Turns out Corey and Lisa were going through some seriously rough times.  They did not make it through.  Last night her aunt called to tell me that Lisa wants to break up.


As things were devolving, I became increasingly worried for Corey.  It's his first love and his first heartbreak.  We had conversations about how he is bigger than the relationship and more than just "Corey and Lisa."  He seemed to understand and even felt like things should be over because of the way she'd been treating him... he just wasn't ready quite yet.

When I got off the phone with the aunt last night, I laid it on the line for him as gently as I could.

Internally, I was rather seething for him.  I mean, seriously.  Have your aunt call and talk to your boyfriend's mom?!  And some of the stuff the aunt said for Lisa were fricking ridiculous.

Honestly, I always assumed when Corey had his first breakup, I'd be the stern, "Well next time you ought to try being more this and less that" sort of responder (I hesitate to call it comfort).  The nature of my son's personality and behavior frequently leads to those kinds of conversations.  Instead, I find myself being the mother bear who wants to verbally bash the stupid little girl who hurt my boy.  I won't (or not any more than the little I've done here), but it's nice to know I can make the switch when the circumstances call for it

I was especially dreading how today would go for him.  Turns out Corey handled everything as well as I could have hoped.  Lisa asked if they could "be friends until she's ready."  He didn't really give her his answer, but told me that it's a no.  She didn't treat him like a boyfriend (insert air quotes), so he figures she won't treat him like a friend either.

This afternoon we went to the bookstore and exchanged the book he'd gotten for her birthday for a CD/DVD for himself.  Apparently it's pretty funny.  I keep hearing him laugh.


Bossy Betty said...

Oh, it's so hard to see your kids go through stuff like this!

The Rambler said...

Oh Shan....first love break ups can be rough.

HUGS to your son who will find someone that treats him like a boyfriend (airquotes).


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