Trading Off

Corey had mentioned that he wasn't feeling especially well a few times lately.  I noticed a bit of a cough, but it didn't seem to be holding him back, so I just didn't worry too much.


About a week ago, while we were enjoying our spring break, Corey went outside to load up the car with the last bits of slag concrete that had been pulled from our backyard.  (Yes, this is how one enjoys a vacation with a teen who has gotten himself grounded.  Many things were crossed off a lengthy list.  Quite enjoyable.  For me, anyway.)  As he opened the garage door, several police cars (marked and unmarked) pulled up into our cul de sac and stopped in front of our home.  Officers got out and headed down the street (we're on the corner)... straight for Corey's friend's house.


We closed up our house and didn't try to gawk or find out what was happening.  In the meantime, Corey was visibly upset, as you can imagine.  I gave him a hug.


Do you know how rare it can be to get a hug from a teenaged boy?  For all the problems I have with him, Corey's a pretty affectionate guy, but he's still a guy.  So I hugged him tight and we talked about how he could offer to let his friend come over here any time problems were happening at home.


I gave him some guidance and love.


He gave me his cold.


I'm gonna say that, even though I am now home sick... and I must look as bad as I feel based on the way people looked at me yesterday... I came out ahead.


That's saying something because in 36 hours I've gone through three large boxes of tissue and three rolls of toilet paper.


I have considered walking around with whole tissues sticking out of each nostril, just so I don't have to wipe one more time.


According to my now painful stomach muscles, I may be on my way to having abs of steel from the coughing.


I can't taste or smell anything.


The nausea (which still hasn't gone away) has gotten worse from all of the moco draining.


I have to carry tissue around to spit into or otherwise gross people out by retching in the middle of conversations.


And I have had to give serious thought to changing from a panty liner to those massive things women use after giving birth.


On the upside, I had to make a presentation at a real estate office yesterday.  These used to be pretty frequent and I had a routine down, but it's been a while since the last one.  Nancy normally co-presents to make sure my stupid remarks and lame jokes are kept to a minimum.  (For example, a few years ago I introduced us as Shannon and Nancy Parker.  Then to cover myself, I added, "We're from Massachusetts."  That sort of stuff doesn't always go down as well in a professional setting as one might think.)


On the way to the presentation I mentally prepared my words.  I am proud to say that I did not go with my first choice, which was to ask, "Which one of the seven dwarfs am I - Sleepy, Dopey or Sneezy?"  Besides, it was a trick question.  The answer was D) All of the above.