Saturday, June 11, 2011

Tuesday Night I Had a Date. With a Girl! Nay, a Woman!

And I liked it.

Mm-hmm, that's right.

Sure, Tom and I had a date night scheduled for last night (our first since out anniversary in November).  But I have needs, people.  Needs!

If you've been hanging around for a while, you know that I have not been able to make any friends since moving up here.  Not that I haven't tried.  You can catch a small sampling of my struggles here.

Recently, the alleged mommy group from Facebook went silent.  I don't whip around on there as well as some people, so it took me a  while to realize I wasn't hearing about yet another event scheduled when I couldn't attend.  I looked into it only to learn that "my" group was pretty much defunct and a new group had taken it's place.  The name was almost the same, but with the word Christian added.

I am not Christian.  I am not anything.  In fact, the best descriptor I've heard for people like me is "good for nothing."

I have nothing against Christians (well, except for that hate group that travels to the funerals of dead soldiers... I have a lot against them) or any religious groups.  I am aware that my lack of religion makes people uncomfortable.  (My stance is that I will not attempt to convert you; please do the same.)  And I suppose that the opposite is also true to some degree.  So I'm probably not going to be joining a group with any religious affiliation in the title.  Especially if the group has just been narrowed down from something for all.

I hadn't yet figured out how gotten around to withdrawing from the original group.  About two weeks ago it was suddenly blowing up again.  Yes, there were group activities I couldn't quite attend (an hour before the end of the workday before I go on summer break? really?!).

One woman posted a desperate plea for diapers.  On Monday evening, I met her to give her a box along with some wipes.  It was nice and fits well with my Pay It Forward philosophy.  She's my new Facebook friend and I like her.

Did you know that Tuesdays are "my" night?  Tom's night is Thursday (and apparently also Sunday morning).  He plays tennis.  It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I feel desperate enough ready to have a night of my own and leave putting the girls down to him.  I had gone to the gym three weeks in a row.  There's a fun looking dance class that I've watched each week.  The more I didn't go to it, the more I knew I wasn't going.  By last Tuesday afternoon, I realized that the possibility of going to that class had been a major draw in getting me to the gym at all.  But my motivation (the Achilles heel of my exercising life) was plummeting.

Connecting with Kim the night before emboldened me.  I posted on the mommy group wall:

I know it's late notice, but I'm looking for a Tuesday night workout buddy. I have a membership to 24 Hour Fitness, which is great, but I'd really love to do something *with* someone. Could be the gym, walking/extremely slow jogging with lots of heavy breathing and possibly some grunting coming from your partner (I'll try to keep the cursing to a minimum). I'm available any time after 6:30, tonight or future Tuesdays. My ideal partner will generally be able to resist suggestions like, "Why don't we just go to Starbucks and hang out?"

Thirty seconds later and the group that had been humming along was silent.  Dead.  It was all my fault.  I killed it!  My use of the word grunting probably turned them off.  Or that I only said I'd try to keep my mouth under control.
All of a sudden there was a response!  A woman was available to work out with me.  At the end of July.
And another woman was up for something.  After she heals from an upcoming surgery.  How about the middle of July?
*sigh*  Does it seem like I am cursed to never make friends up here?  I thought so, too.
But then it happened.  *cue the angels singing as clouds parted and the sun bursts through dark ominous clouds*
Someone was available that night.  And she's a member at my gym.
And she, Jennifer, arrived on time!
And we have the same workout stamina and style!
Did you know that half an hour on the elliptical can go by lickety-split if you're chatting and laughing and acting out Bossy Betty's elliptical story?
We had so much fun while building muscles (except for that one arm device... that was an instrument of torture) and toning our butts.  Well, my butt.  Thank god I didn't look at Jennifer's Facebook profile or I would have realized I was going to the gym with a pretty, young, thin woman.  I am shallow and easily intimidated sometimes, I'll admit it.
For the first time in my month of working out (plus the *ahem* four years before that when I did not go at all), I stayed at the gym an entire hour.  We left laughing and looking forward to next week.  And that class that I've been not attending?  Jennifer is willing to try it, too.
When I got home, I couldn't believe all the responses I'd gotten.  No fewer than six people want to get together.  With me.


Brooke said...

Good for you Shan!! I would probably not be your ideal partner as I'd want to skip working out not for coffee but for a beer BUT I'd bet my mouth is just as bad (if not worse) than yours so that could bring back to the ideal partner :D

Emms said...

That is awesome! I so need to try this... I don't really have friends in my new home either... thanks for the inspiration!
BTW I would have jumped on that post... my kind of woman lol.

Noelle said...

I would totally exercise with you...if I could walk for more than 10 minutes at a time. :)

renegademothering said...

I want to get together with you. You know I do.

Fucking people.

I'm tripping (sorry, sometimes I talk like I'm 13 and it's 1994) about the whole home school thing (I haven't mentioned it on my blog yet, but I'm homeschooling my son, Rocket - wah? yeah. NUTS.)...but ANYWAY, there are all these "christian exclusive" homeschool groups. As in, if you're not Christian, ya ain't invited. And I'm going "dude. that's so not what Jesus woulda done."


we rock. they suck. the end.

but glad a few of them removed their heads from their bottoms and hit you up. (ya see? back at the 13 year old thing.)

katy said...

That is so great! I hope you get to hang out some more. Sometimes people suck, and it is SO hard to make friends when you're a grown-up -- especially when people so obviously want to be exclusive rather than inclusive. I would totally work out with you if I lived where you live! ;o)

Anti-Supermom said...

Shan, are you feeling the love?! Because I would have totally been one of those to respond... if you lived in MN :)

So happy for you, and jealous that you have a 'me' night. Where did mine go?

JT said...

That's so great! Good for your for putting yourself out there, despite the fear (well, the fear I would have anyhow) of conversion attempts. Also, ITA with Noelle.

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