Ever Do Something You Shouldn't?

You know that it's not helpful, healthy or wise, but it's hard to tear yourself away.  Pregnant women should not go around checking out blogs written by women who've lost their babies.  And it's worse if those babies were lost late in pregnancy, or even right after being born.  Note to self.


I dropped in on one because she'd posted something on the forum I'm addicted to a member of.  Then, as is pretty common for me when visiting another person's site, I checked out several of her recommended blogs.  Every single one (quite naturally) shared the theme of baby loss.  I have lost enough of my own babies... this is my eighth pregnancy.  I'm not sure I ever shared that specific information.  So reading these blogs is not only painful because, well who wouldn't find the topic painful to read about, but because it brings back my own memories.  Oddly enough, November of last year isn't the first thing that comes to mind.  That was hard and painful and sad, yes, but knowing we somehow didn't make a baby took a lot of the sting away.  Those first losses, before Corey, were... well, I don't really need to explain it.


In any case, my stated goal for the night is to stop torturing myself with things I cannot control.  The stories I read will stay with me, and the women will be in my heart.  But the rest of me has to keep moving forward.