Tuesday, December 07, 2010

10 Things You Really Didn't Need to Know About Me

As promised, I'm totally snagging this from my mommy pal over at Wrong Story Short.

1. I am not left handed, but I faked like I was every time I had to write on board in 10th or 11th grade. To answer your questions: Printing only. Kind of bubbly, but clear. Certainly better than the boys. My history of faking runs deep. In second grade I used to make my sister guide me around as though I were a blind person. I'm sure people bought it, too. Why wouldn't they? A blind person would totally walk around with her winter coat on backwards and hanging from her head. No, she never ran me into things. Yes, that's part of why I love her so much.

2. My daughter is currently wearing a size six diaper. Not Mad. Fynn. We went out to buy diapers for Fynn just in time today. I had several left downstairs, but when we got home I brought a screaming infant and an overtired, equally loudly screaming two year old up to my room. I could have gotten a size 3 from downstairs or brought the box in from my car. Instead, Fynn has tapes that are overlapping and a diaper that goes up to about mid-rib.

3. I sort laundry into two piles: Fuzzy and smooth. I used to make six or seven piles based on color and care instructions. It turns out that almost 100% of my clothes are cotton. And old. Same with towels and blankets. My biggest concern for the past few years has been how often I have to use a lint brush.

4. My favorite color was always blue until fourth grade. The gymnastics team I'd just made got new uniforms right as I came on board. They were purple and lavender. I officially changed my favorite color as a symbol of my loyalty. These days I am drawn to any bluish shade of purple. The pink shades make me think of blueberry yogurt, which I find annoying.

5. In conversation I am likely to quote Dr. Seuss and the movies Animal House, History of the World Part I and Blazing Saddles. The movies were family classics when I was growing up. . Dr. Seuss I learned after Corey was born. I was inspired to memorize them by my old Seuss-quoting bookstore manager who had no kids, but after reading anything a few hundred times I was bound to pick it up anyway.

6. I do not have postpartum depression. My insurance sent a questionnaire and I aced it. No joke.

7. Tom bought me a bag of Ghirardelli dark chocolate squares for our anniversary. These are the super dark chocolates with numbers indicating intensity. We both love the 60% and enjoy the 72%. I carried an 86% square around in my pocket today thinking it might be better if it was warm and melty. It did not even approach melty. I didn't eat it.

8. My favorite cup for drinking water was a token of appreciation from the solid waste department for a city I work with. Everyone on the committee got at least one (I got two, both pink). On it is this statement: "Refill this reusable bottle with Ontario's naturally good tap water. I am a water snob. I fill it with mountain spring water. And whenever I see "Ontario's naturally good tap water," I think about their smelly water treatment facility.

9. Any email I receive that starts or ends with wailings about "how many people read their email" automatically goes in the trash. Same for the ones with 10 empty lines followed by "wait for it" or "you're gonna love this." You are probably wrong. I would like to start a clean email movement, where people would delete that nonsense before forwarding. However, I have been 98.5% unsuccessful at getting my own circle of family and close friends to stop sending the same emails to all of us that one of us just sent out to the group 10 minutes ago.  My brother comprises the 1.5% success rate.  However, we also have an agreement to stop sending allegedly funny emails about the other person's political beliefs since we are on opposing sides.  That may account for the drop-off more than anything else.

10. Twice I have been asked, "When are you due?" since having Fynn. The first time I tried to joke about it, the second time was not so easy to be funny. Both times the person asking was my OB's receptionist. Both times she was asking about my physical. I may be more than a little sleep deprived still.


Bossy Betty said...

Hey, at least it's Fynn wearing the diaper and not you. I think you are doing so well juggling all you have to juggle. I am not even going to make you take a quiz to prove that you are a great woman doing a great woman's job.

I used to fake being left-handed too. I was desperate for anything that made me cool-different.

HOB eats the heavy duty chocolate. I think it tastes like coffee grounds.

Anonymous said...

I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one who faked being left handed in high school. You sound like an awesome mama, and person. Wish we were closer, 'cause I'd totally hang with you (and your beautiful children! Seriously, all three are gorgeous).

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

I am DEFINITELY not as talented as you and wrongstoryshort, there's no WAY I could even BEGIN to fake being left handed!

And as far as the stupid clods that ask you when you're due, they're just morons, obviously. Don't give them the time of day! I'm with the others, you sound like an AWESOME mom!! Cheers!

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